Friday, February 28, 2014

Honesty and eating disorders: Stop lying to yourself

It's National Eating Disorder Awareness Week and you know what that means?

It's time to be honest... really honest.

I'm going to say something here because I need to acknowledge that it's the truth. After years of struggling with restrictive eating, binge purge eating, and a blend of multiple disordered eating behaviors, I have relapsed into a stage of eating that I'm really struggling with. So here's the truth:

I have a binge eating disorder.

There. I said it. That wasn't so bad.

Advice from a sober sister: College - alcohol = still fun

I'm going to reveal a life-changing secret and you might want to be sitting down for this one.


Are you sitting?

Okay. Here it is: you don't have to drink in college to have fun at parties.

I'll give you a few minutes to recover.

Now before you exit out of this window, I'd like to preface this post by saying I have nothing against drinking or people who do it. For health and personal reasons, I can't/don't drink, but if you can put back ten shots in ten minutes then don't let anyone stop you. You don't owe anyone an apology (well, maybe your liver), and you should always make choices based on what is best for you. It just so happens that sobriety is best for me.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Happy Thursday: Some things to love today


The key word there was "finally."

...If you couldn't tell.

In all seriousness though, this work has been the worst. After the wonderful break from reality that was Atlanta's snowpocaylpse 2.0, we Emory students have been overwhelmed by the horrendous amounts of work we all put off or have to do to catch up. Not only did I fail the hardest test I've ever taken this morning (brought to you by Chinese 201), but I also have been prepping intensely for my debate district tournament that determines whether I qualify for nationals. It's been a little hectic.

So if you're busy, tired, bored, or just in need of something to make your smile. Here are some things to get excited about.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Valentine's Day and relationships: On Facebook vs. In Reality (And a rant about self love, food, etc)

Last night when I came home from my (sort of) Valentine's day celebration with my boyfriend and two friends, I found myself bombarded with facebook notifications and messages about "how perfect" we are, how cute our relationship is, and even messages saying "all I want is a relationship like yours."

These messages are very flattering. In high school, girls said these sorts of things to me often. I was in a very successful long distance relationship with the high school sweetheart I would be attending college with, and it didn't hurt that in our circle Nate was sort of a celebrity to younger kids. I got messages from girls I've never met saying "I just want to be like you" sometimes multiple times a month.

I'm not writing this post to brag. I'm also not trying to suggest that my relationship isn't wonderful. It is. It is absolutely full of love, respect, romance, and gratitude for each other. I'm also not writing this to suggest that my life is a terrible struggle. I've very fortunate and I'm very grateful for the people, things, and privileges I have in my life.

But as I once experienced, when you're single or in a bad relationship, sometimes it's easy to think that a good relationship can fix all your problems. I'm here to tell you it can't. Being loved by someone else only works if you love yourself, and that is quite the challenge.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Start saying "no": Why rape culture isn't just about rape

Dear society,

This rant is not addressed to men. It is not addressed to "frat dudes," the guys sitting in bars making remarks about women who enter, or to the pervert who raped a girl on my college campus last night. It is not to the ignorant people who sit around and say girls deserved to be raped because of things they did, and it is certainly not just to the men who rape girls and boys.

This is to all of you, myself included:

No means no.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

No-bake Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cake Balls: A non recipe

Disclaimer: This is not a recipe.

It was supposed to be a recipe... but then it was a horrible mistake, which turned into a long process, which is now a story.

So this post is a story.
And some pictures, and the makings of a super awesome, delicious recipe that has thus far been described as "really good" and "like one of those cinnamon buns you get from cinnabon without all the gross grease that makes you feel sick."


Sundays are made for selfies

I'm in a particularly chipper mood today, so I have a wonderful surprise: SELFIE SUNDAY WITH NATE.

Happy Sunday!

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Note to self (and anyone else who needs to hear this... which I honestly believe is everyone)

Your value cannot be explained by your weight, and your happiness cannot be measured in the same way you measure the circumference of your thighs. You are not loved because you have the self-control to not eat for two days, and you are not admired because you can hide that you have not eaten.

There are things that matter more than being admired. Being loved is not something you earn.

I know things have been tough lately, and you've been not eating, then binge eating, then not eating, then not feeling so good, but things are going to be okay. Eat food, eat good foods, eat all foods. Rules are more like guidelines anyways. If you make rules for yourself break them.

You are allowed to eat on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
You are allowed to eat after 4pm.
You are allowed to eat white foods.
You are allowed to do whatever the hell you want.

People will think you're beautiful even if you don't look thin.
It's okay if today you don't look thin. It's okay if people don't think you're beautiful.
It's going to be okay.

Just because you're not underweight doesn't mean you don't deserve to acknowledge that something is wrong. Just because other people don't see you and think you're sick doesn't mean you shouldn't acknowledge that you are.

You can acknowledge that someone with schizophrenia, or diabetes, or cancer is sick without knowing what they feel like. People will not know what you feel like. That doesn't mean you aren't sick.

You will make mistakes. You will eat way too much or way too little some days. You are going to weigh more some days, you are going to weigh less some days. Your stomach will be round, and flat, and all different shapes. Your thighs will touch.

It will be okay though.
I promise.
You will be okay.